“After my mother was killed, something inside me changed. It’s like I built up this wall, inside. I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t want to hurt like that again. I know I’m not gonna be able to be the kind of person I want to be. I know I’m not gonna - I’m not gonna be able to have the kind of relationship that I want, until that wall comes down… and it’s not going to happen until I put this thing to rest.”